Presence

My Daily Humiliation

May 14, 2022

My good neighbors down the street (we live on a dead end street) are having a big party, and somebody parked in my parking space. We don’t have a garage, just a pull through space on the other side of the street from the house. Weird, I know, not to have a garage or a parking area by the house. That’s just what there was here. To quote an old saying, used regularly by soccer moms everywhere when they are handing out different colors of ice pops at the end of a sweltering August practice: “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”

So I am used to parking across the street from my house.

Unless someone else is parked there.

Humph.

I confess that I feel a little bit better because I watched them have a rough time getting out of my regular parking space, since I got home a few minutes ago and had to park on the other side of the street directly in front of them.  It’s a narrow street. They had a big truck. I have a smaller car.

They managed it, with a little maneuvering.

My favorite priest Richard Rohr says that he prays everyday for one good humiliation. He then watches his reaction to it. “I have no other way of spotting both my denied shadow self and my idealized persona,” he said.

My shadow came out tonight. Because really, it was not that big of a deal, to move my car to the other side of the street. It was the idea of the thing, though. It was my spot. People should not take things that are mine! Especially when I am tired, hungry, and a little grumpy after a long day of work.

(Yes. Even massage therapists, who prioritize positivity, can get grumpy after a long work day.)

My good neighbor just stopped by and apologized. He said his friend didn’t know that it was my spot.

“No problem!” I chirped. “Hope you are having fun at your party!”

I am such a liar.

I do hope they have fun, though. They are fine neighbors and I am grateful for them. Also, it was kind of him to stop by and apologize.

(There’s still one car parked in my area, though. Nobody said anything about that!)

This Daily Humiliation thing is apparently something I still  need to work on.

Presence, Success

Beautiful Chefs are Making Me Crabby

May 7, 2022

One of my Mom’s well-loved cookbooks. No smiling goddess on the cover. What a relief!

I am in a mood.

I usually love the library and browsing through the cookbook section. I love to check out cookbooks, even though I don’t often make the recipes. The books sit by my bed, full of friendly possibilities.  I look at them longingly when I crawl into bed at night and dream that I will have time to try a new recipe soon (surely tomorrow!). Mostly I am happy just to have the books there, grateful for the options they offer. So much theoretical deliciousness!

The other day at the library, I randomly picked out a cookbook that featured a cover photo of a beautiful, long-haired, glowing chef. I’ve noticed lately that many new cookbooks have covers like this. Apparently,  in order to be a cookbook writing chef these days, you need to be both beautiful and have long hair. This usually doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s a reflection of the current state of my mental health (maybe I should talk to somebody about that?), but when I saw this, I instinctively shoved that book back onto the shelf after a quick glance, maybe harder than necessary. Not only because of that photo on the cover, but also because of the pictures inside. There was her adorable,  perfect family, sitting next to her in the sun at a picnic table, enjoying their exquisite, seasonally appropriate, simple and yet somehow complexly flavored meal.

It was almost too much.

I want to discover a cookbook writing chef who tells the truth. I want to find a book from a chef who is real, someone who would be to cookbooks what Celeste Barber has been to Instagram and the internet. Are you familiar with Barber’s work? Take a look here:  Hilarious Celeste Barber Clips  (That Gwyneth Paltrow spot! Best thing ever!)

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