Presence

Oh, To Live in the World of Hallmark Christmas Movies

December 18, 2020

There are days in December when I find myself wishing that I could magically transport myself into the world of the Hallmark Christmas movies. These movies are quite a viral cultural phenomenon these days. I’ve seen ads all over the internet for special movie watching socks. They say, (on one foot) “If you can read this (and on the other foot), leave me alone. I am watching Hallmark Christmas movies.” I think of the scene in Mary Poppins where Mary and Bert and the children jump into a chalk painting and wind up in an alternate universe, where they sing with talking animals and dance with penguins.  In my Hallmark Christmas land, anything even remotely connected to my holiday is marvelous. I never feel stressed. I never feel sad.

In Hallmark Christmas land, my hair is shiny and my cheeks are rosy and my house is warm, cozy, tastefully decorated, but never cluttered.  There is never any thought about the electric bill and how much does it cost to heat this place? There is a wreath on the front door and twinkling light outside. The Christmas tree (maybe I would even have two!) is decorated with cherished ornaments. I’m in the kitchen, happily baking Christmas cookies, and my teen son eagerly helps decorate them.  He even tells me that he would rather do that than play video games Continue Reading…

Presence

My Underwear Are Lost

December 14, 2020

Not what I ordered

I finally got around to opening the packages from Kohl’s that I’d been tossing in the back corner of my bedroom for the last couple of weeks. I’m not sure why it took me so long to do this. Maybe it’s because it’s a hassle, the package opening. You usually need scissors, and then you have to be careful not to accidentally chop the item inside, and then you have to figure out where to hide the things if they are Christmas gifts. And as you are hiding them, the things stare at you and make you feel guilty because you are not wrapping them right away, but are shoving them in the closet where you don’t have to think about them again until later, probably not until Christmas Eve. I have never been a talented present wrapper. When I was younger (like, in my 40s), I used yards of tape and cut jagged lines in the wrapping paper, and sometimes ended up crying because I hated it so much and was terrible at it. Now that I am in my 50s, I have finally learned how to wrap a gift, but barely.

(This is also the time when I very much regret not following my own present buying advice: I know that all I should ever buy my loved ones for Christmas is “something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. That’s all! If I abided by that wisdom, I would only have a few things to wrap. But I have purchased more than that. Not very much more, and I’ve already finished shopping, so there’s progress there, and hope.)

I actually bought a few things for myself at the Kohl’s Black Friday online sale this year. My daughter teased me awhile back that someday I should buy underwear  “that didn’t come in a pack.”  It was past time for new ones,  and if the kind that didn’t come in a pack were on sale, so much the better.

Warning: If you do not want to read about underwear, you might want to stop reading now. I will not be offended. I would actually be grateful. Continue Reading…