Daily Grace, Presence

My Annoying Cold

November 1, 2025

We had some rain this week and ventured out for a walk; the clouds cleared for a moment, just as the sun was setting. Felt lucky to get this photo, a bright spot of the week.

I’m not even that sick, but I am feeling very grumpy about it.

It’s just a cold. It’s a cold, but I’m coughing at night and headachy during the day and also very tired. All of these things are normal with colds. It’s not even the worst cold I’ve ever had. Still. An annoying, minor-ish cold can change the trajectory of your week. I am treasuring these last few days with my daughter before she embarks on her next adventure. I am annoyed that this cold and my sore knee have affected what we have been able to do during her time here, especially these final few days. She’s heading to Thailand next Thursday and then around Asia for a few months.

Almost without exception, people ask the same question when they learn this: “Does it make you nervous? Are you worried that she’ll be alone out there?” Here’s the thing. She’s not really alone. I can see her location on my phone anytime. She also has a cell phone with internet access. She has already booked her hostel stays for the first weeks of her trip. She’ll travel from Bangkok to Chang Mai on a day train, stay in a hostel there, and then move on to an elephant sanctuary, where she’ll help feed and care for elephants. That’s the first two weeks of her trip already figured out.

What is not to love about an itinerary like this? And that is only the beginning.

(Okay. Honestly? I am a little concerned about her safety when she is out and about, but that is always true, even in the USA, even when she is home with me. She went for a hike this week, up by Spaulding Reservoir, and I was happy when she was finally back at the car and driving home again, after being on the trail alone.)

The truth is that there is only so much she can do when she is home with me. We have gone on walks (but no hikes, because, you know, my knee and trying to let it heal) and have had a lovely time together, but this little town that I love is not the end all place for her. It can’t be. She needs to move on. She is applying for jobs that will start in the spring. Who knows where she will end up, but I am excited about the possibilities of visiting her wherever it is. Her job on Catalina Island this last summer spoiled me, I guess. Maybe it will be in Moab as a raft guide? Or the San Juan Islands as a naturalist on a whale watching boat? Or Ketchikan as a tour guide for cruise ship guests on a Duck Boat, the kind that drives on land and floats in the water? (Her interview for that one is Monday morning). Those are only some of the possibilities that she’s applying for. It’s a good thing, to be in your early 20’s, and have opportunities like these.

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Presence, Success

My “Love Is Blind” Confession

October 25, 2025

It’s a long and winding road that leads to love, as contestants learn on the Netflix show, “Love Is Blind.” Also, this is a look at autumn colors showing up near my town these days.

I confess that I just finished watching the latest season of “Love Is Blind” on Netflix with my daughter.

It is okay if you feel a little judgy about this. It’s sort of the television equivalent of snacking on Cheez-Its or Nacho Cheese Flavored Doritos, which I love, but which I very much try not to buy, because I always end up eating the entire bag.

(Case in point: a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin treats jumped into my shopping bag the other day. I believe they are all gone now.)

I am not alone in watching it, though; it’s the number one most-watched streaming series of all time. In the show, young, unmarried singles meet and date other young, unmarried singles through a wall. They swear that they are ready to get married, but they just have not been able to find their person in their day-to-day lives. In the show, they cannot see each other, but enjoy hours of conversation where they forge connections without worrying about physical appearances, something that had been important to them in the past.

You see them share their hearts. Every season, a few of the couples enjoy such deep connections through their days of dating through the wall that they fall in love—truly, madly, deeply! The young man proposes, the young woman cries, and says yes! Soon after, the audience watches the unveiling, where the two come together for the first time on the opposite sides of sliding doors. The doors open and they finally see each other. He gets down on one knee, pulls out an engagement ring, puts it on her finger.

There are hugs and kisses! Everything is wonderful!

Until it’s not.

And it’s that part, when things start to fall apart, that interests me the most.

The engaged couples are then jetted away to a romantic getaway in Mexico, where problems inevitably start to arise. Later, they return to their hometowns and live together for a short time as their wedding days approach. Some couples are able to work through their difficulties and come out stronger, but not everybody does. If they make it to the altar (and not every couple does, because some break up before then), they are told by the officiant that “now is the time to decide if love truly is blind.” Spoiler alert, if you’re thinking about watching this current season: none of the couples decide to actually marry, the first time in the show’s history that this has happened.

There is a predictable trajectory that the relationships follow: from bliss and elation to harsh reality. Some couples are able to work their way back to a strong connection, but those who don’t have dramatic conflicts and breakdowns for all of us to watch. I hate to admit it, but I think I have a little schadenfreude going on here—that German word that describes the guilty pleasure we take from somebody else’s misfortune.  Because the truth is that most of us have had relationships that began blissfully that later crashed and burned. So when the idyllic relationships on the show start to crumble? It’s not pretty, but it makes the rest of us feel like we’re not alone in the heartbreaks and breakups we’ve suffered.

We see it happen to the show’s gorgeous young people, who generally end up being social media influencers and gain followers through their time on the show (some of them up to a million!), so in the end, we don’t need to feel too bad for them. But the show still serves as a reminder that relationships are not easy for anyone. That’s reason enough to look forward to the next season, which will probably be out soon–while also hoping that at least some of the next set of participants will find relationships that are healthy and enter into marriages that last, because that’s always the goal. That’s always the hope.