Colonoscopy Prep Fun

Here is what I’ve been eating this week: grilled cheese sandwiches on Wonder bread. Plain bagels with cream cheese and deli turkey. Hard-boiled eggs. Bananas. Chocolate pudding. Egg salad with mayonnaise. I bought parmesan cheese and cream for homemade alfredo sauce. I made chicken and rice soup in my crockpot. I have ramen noodles on hand in case of an emergency. Just the noodles, though. None of those ramen cups that feature peas and corn.

It’s colonoscopy prep week, friends—not something that most of us look forward to.

I’ve done well over the years eating foods that are lower in carbs. It’s been a good way to keep my blood sugar levels healthy and my weight in check. I got rid of my toaster because I rarely ate bread anymore, stocked my freezer with riced cauliflower to use as a base for homemade pesto and pasta sauces, and pretty much stopped buying packaged foods. Cookies, crackers, sugary cereals, and those delicious blue boxes of macaroni and cheese—mostly gone.

But then, colonoscopy prep week arrived! My doctor’s office sent a packet of instructions about what I was to eat this week and, more importantly, what not to eat! No dried peas or beans. No raw vegetables. No seeds, skin, membranes, or dried fruit. No corn, potatoes with skins, tomatoes, cooked cabbage, or squash. No coconut or beverages with red or purple dye.

So what was allowed? According to my doctor’s instructions, there were many delicious high-carb treats that I could enjoy this week—things like white bread and bagels. Regular pasta and white rice. Cream, pudding, and plain ice cream. Cookies and cake, as long as they were made without nuts, seeds, or dried fruit.

Suddenly, many foods I usually try to limit were now on the approved list.

So that is why this week I wandered through the aisles of my local grocery store, searching for things that I usually avoid. I bought those bagels and Wonder white bread, vanilla pudding and lime Jell-O, plain chocolate ice cream—no rocky road with almonds and marshmallows. I borrowed a toaster from a friend.

Indeed, the first few days of eating this way were fun. I remembered how much I enjoy toasted bagels with cream cheese—and Wonder bread sandwiches with sliced deli turkey, cheddar cheese, and mayonnaise are delicious! But now it’s day six of my low-fiber eating, and I’m starting to miss my usual foods. I open my refrigerator and see almonds and walnuts, chia seeds and mixed greens, and feel a little wistful.

Tomorrow, the day when you might read this, will be the strictest day of my colonoscopy prep. It’s clear-liquid diet day. This means water, tea, clear juices, clear broth, and Jell-O without fruit.

In years past, I’ve tried to practice the spiritual discipline of fasting. I was never a very good faster—skipping breakfast and lunch and eating again at supper time was usually the longest I could go. The clear-liquid diet part of my colonoscopy prep week is the day that feels hardest. But if I can look at it, just a little, as a spiritual practice instead of only a medical one, that might make it a little easier. Instead of planning and preparing meals, I can try to rest, to pray.

Ironic that my clear-liquid diet day arrives on the day that is an hour longer than the rest of the year. More chance to reflect, I guess. An extra hour to do my best not to think about food or the Golytely that I will start drinking in the afternoon (and finish at 2:00 in the morning, according to the instructions). Note to self: maybe pick an afternoon colonoscopy appointment time next time.

I’m thankful that my insurance should cover the cost of this procedure. It’s not especially fun, this week of colonoscopy prep. It’s a procedure that saves lives, though, and I’m grateful for that. The clear-liquid diet day may give me a little more time for prayer. And honestly, it’s been nice this week enjoying white bread sandwiches and bagels with cream cheese—without guilt.