Maybe I Do Have a Little Problem with My Phone

Definitely seems too early to see a California poppy blooming. Still, it’s a beautiful reminder that spring is on the way.

Sometimes it is helpful to have someone remind you of something you already know.

Mel Robbins’ podcast is jam-packed with episodes that promise to significantly improve my life. Recent podcast topics included the “Ultimate Skincare Routine for Amazing Skin,” “How to Design Your Life in One Hour,” and a conversation with a cybersecurity expert that could “save you thousands of dollars.” Another recent podcast told me that I should try to have 30 grams of protein first thing in the morning. But a few years back, I listened to one of her experts talk about the benefits of intermittent fasting. So is it still good to eat thirty grams of protein in the morning if you are intermittent fasting and don’t usually eat breakfast? Sometimes all the advice from different directions is a little confusing.

But I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast this week that helped me more than it probably should have, because the tips provided were basically common sense. Apparently, it was a week when I needed someone to go through basic things with me again. Robbins talked for an hour about small choices (she called them “micro choices”) we make every day that can make a “surprisingly huge difference” in how our days go.

Let me summarize the four micro choices for you so you don’t need to listen to the podcast: she encourages us to decide first thing in the morning if we’re going to have a good day or a bad day, because “if you’re not choosing one, you’re choosing the other.” She tells us to make wise decisions about our food intake and asks if we’re going to run our days on “fuel or fumes”?; she exhorts us to eat real healthy foods, because relying on caffeine and donuts is not ideal. In the evening, when the day’s work is through, she says that we need to make a choice about whether we will “scroll or sleep.” You can guess which option is the preferred one, since sleep is such an important part of a healthy life and doom-scrolling on social media late into the night is not.

All of that made sense to me, nothing earth-shattering. But the first small choice she talked about was the one that grabbed me. I put it into practice this week, and she was right. It was a small choice that made a huge difference. And it couldn’t have been simpler: first thing in the morning, after you wake up, consciously choose what you reach for.

In other words, for me: do not reach for my phone. Leave it on the charger. Grab it only after I’ve done some of the things that I say are most important to me, like writing with my online writing group, writing in my journal, or sitting for quiet meditation.

Because I’ve gotten into the habit of grabbing my phone first thing. I stumble to the bathroom, phone in hand, and immediately check my email in the name of being a good, informed citizen. I’ll read the New York Times morning update (which lately has generally been depressing), then see a reminder to do the Wordle, then ads from all the stores I’ve ever gotten coupon codes for—a nearly endless onslaught of information—which I then spend a few minutes deleting. The NYT cooking folks also send links to amazing recipes. I look at those, and the next thing, and the next thing, and soon thirty minutes have passed, my head hurts a little, the sun has moved across the sky, and I have not moved at all.

But this week, because of Mel Robbins, I did not look at my phone first thing. I actually did more of the things that I say I want to do! So I’m not doing the Wordle first thing, but I remember to do it later. Same with Duolingo. Same with the rest of the New York Times daily puzzles. I do enjoy those puzzles, but there is time later in the day for them. A small part of me is afraid that if I do not do the Wordle first thing, that I will forget and lose my streak! A wiser part of me realizes that possibly it would not be such a terrible thing to lose my Wordle streak, if this thing that really does not matter has become so important to me.

So I think that Mel is right. It’s a small thing, to ignore my phone for the first hour or so of my day. It helped, though. It helped more than I thought was possible.

Daffodils and hyacinths from my garden. Gardening outside is also better than scrolling on my phone at any time of day.