Presence, Success

Sometimes Things Just Don’t Work

October 7, 2023

It started with the iced tea.

I ordered unsweetened iced tea with lemon at a McDonald’s when driving home from picking up my daughter in Oregon a few weeks ago. We waited in the drive-thru line for longer than you want to wait at McDonald’s. After we finally got our drinks, I took a sip and immediately had to park the car and go back inside. Because it was not unsweetened tea with lemon. It was terrible sweet tea. So I trudged inside, and since all the workers at the counter were busy, I walked back to the drink area, dumped out the sweet tea, refilled my cup with blessed unsweetened tea, and headed back to the car without saying anything to anybody. I hope they didn’t think that I was stealing tea. But nobody should ever have to drink that sweet stuff unless they order it.

It was not the first time that this had happened to me at a McDonald’s, and I normally wouldn’t have thought much about it. But in retrospect, it was the beginning of a series of strange events that have occurred with regularity these last weeks.

I ordered a book from eBay, which is also something that I’ve done many times. I was so excited to finally read it! When it arrived, I opened it, and it was the wrong one.

I needed my doctor to send a referral to a specialist in Roseville (time to get my hearing tested). The specialist’s office never called me. I finally called them and they said they had never received the referral. I emailed the doctor again, and she said that she had sent one, and guess what? I found the spot on the on-line portal where it showed referrals, and she was right. But I had to call the specialist’s office again and have it resent before I was finally able to make an appointment.

I have two pairs of denim capris. They are different brands. I like wearing both of these, very much. But for some reason, only one pair ever shows up in my closet at the same time. At the beginning of the summer, I could not find my Lee capris, but my Sonoma ones were present and accounted for. Something happened a few weeks ago, though, and the Sonoma capris disappeared. Really. They are gone! But guess what? The Lee capris are back. Continue Reading…

Presence, Security

Emptier Nest

September 30, 2023

Welcome, Autumn. Little bits of beauty everywhere. This was just something that I saw the other day on a picnic table at a park in Ashland, Oregon that I liked. It has nothing to do with the post that follows.

This is how the world changes.

This is the moment when something shifts.

A busy courtyard.

Twilight.

One last hug. A kiss on the cheek.

Then one more, because I am not quite ready to let go.

He walks away, back toward his dorm room.

We walk the other direction.

Back to the car. Back to the freeway. Back up the 101 North for thirty miles or so to a clean, comfortable, older motel where we will spend the night before heading home tomorrow. It’s too long of a drive to manage both directions in one day.

You often don’t see these moments coming, the ones that change everything. Dropping a child off at college for the first time is an obvious one. More often, they hit you by surprise. It’s the phone call in the middle of the night, or a call from your doctor about results from a blood test or mammogram and can you please call them back as soon as possible?

The morning after we dropped my son off at college last week, I woke with a raw ache in my heart. The ache took a few hours to hit me; I was mercifully in a state of a shock after we first left him. Also, I was very tired. I somehow managed to keep the grief away. But then (of course), it hit. From now on, things would be different. And what had happened to all the years when he was with me? They were gone. They had passed. And sure, I was there with him, and we were together, but sometimes I was distracted. Sometimes, I wasn’t “there” as much as I wanted to be. Continue Reading…