(Here are some things I am remembering.)

The wise Christine Valters Paintner (or Christine V P, for simplicity’s sake today) asked a question and gave a little assignment in last week’s “Abbey of the Arts” newsletter. You can explore her beautiful website and sign up for a weekly update at http://www.abbeyofthearts.com.   She said, “Imagine that God gazes with delight on the beauty of who you are. What aspects of your being can you imagine God relishing? Rest in this awareness of the joy and delight of God in your own beautiful blossoming for several minutes.”

Well.

I don’t know about that.

It assumes so much! That I am blossoming. Beautiful. That God relishes all this. That God delights in me.

Theoretically, I get it. Because that is how God is, no? God is love! I’ve heard it forever.

But it challenges me, pokes a little. Because apparently I still have a few issues, a bit of healing, that needs to come after my years of growing up in a Baptist church, listening to weekly sermons, most of which ended with an altar call and the plea to get right with God so that you could be confident of your eternal resting place. All you had to do, the pastor implored, was to pray a little prayer, something like what he was about to pray (Just follow along, why don’t you? It’s easy!) And you would then be assured that you would be saved and would not go to hell when you died. Even better? If you would please take a walk down the long center aisle of the church, where everyone could see you, to let the pastor know that you had prayed this prayer.  That would really assure your fate. And all the good members of the church would rejoice with you!

I’m not sure when I prayed that prayer the first time. Honestly, I’m not sure when I prayed it the last time, either. Because I didn’t do it just once. I probably did it every week for years and years. Even though I repeated exactly what the pastor said, word for word, I was never really sure that it worked. Continue Reading…